There
has been an increasing conflict among various sections of the society regarding
sex education to children. Even after
prolonged discussions by academicians, sociologist, psychologists, politicians,
law makers and people from various other walks of life, it seems that no
conclusion has been arrived at. This has been happening in spite of the fact
that, every day more and more cases of pedophilic aggression and rapes are being
reported from all quarters, which still accepted as the tip of the iceberg by
everyone. This does not include consensual sex with preadolescent and early
adolescent children who involve in the act just for the thrill and pleasure
without understanding the long term effects.
Most
of the people who are against sex education in school seem to view sex and
sexually as something associated with physical and functional aspects of sexual
relationships. There are also others who feel that providing knowledge about
sex may provide a gateway for experimenting sexual life at a young age. I don’t
deny this risk factor. But these people can also never deny that without such
informations such exploration and experimentation are still happening among
adolescents.
What
everyone should understand is sex and sexuality are not just related to
physical and functional aspects of sexual life. There is emotional,
interpersonal, relationship, social, moral and personality factors such as
decision making, self confidence and self esteem associated with it. Any
systematic sexual education should comprehensively cover all these factors in a
progressive model at different grades. The sadness is that even our normal academic
system has failed to address all these psychological factors which are
essential for a wholistic development of a child.
For ages
together we have tried to maintain the secrecy of sexual life from not just
from children, but also from adolescents who physically mature. Even the
informations shared are partial and shrouded with secrecy. Just like any partial
information motivating us to know more, this approach has only lead to
increasing the interest in children to know more about sex. Leave out the films
that brand themselves as “adults only” even though there is very limited
restrictions on young children watching such films, even the ones which are
branded as “for all” or family movie also have a lot of content which shows
physical contact among opposite genders as pleasurable and exciting. Children
also witness such intimate contact in real life, in various social environments
and sometimes even among their parents. children also come across a lot of sexuality
associated terms which are explicit such as “fuck” in emotionally charged conversations, or
words and terms with veiled informations, in lighter ones, for which the
reactions from the listener is so
different and explicit, that any child
can smell that there is some shady information in it. These stimuli without appropriate systematic
scientific knowledge can only evoke interest to know more and experiment at the
first available opportunity.
With
more and more children getting access to internet and have started using social
networking rampantly, sex and sexuality are no more a holy secret to be
preserved. Now children as young as 6yrs are browsing internet for information
to get additional informations related to academic activities. Even without any
intentional search or interest, they can very easily stray in to any of the
website which provide obscene stories, pictures
or prone video clips. Use of simple words like “hot” “position” in search engines, can give a lot
of leads into such websites. These sites
only provide information of the erotic pleasure associated with sexual life.
Since sexual interest are instinctual, it is quiet natural that the children
who have once strayed into such websites are motivated to go again and search
for such websites. With the parents
finding very little time to monitor the activities of the child, provide
adequate care, love, affection and emotional support, provide appropriate
knowledge and clarifications, whenever the child has some doubts and
apprehensions about what they have come across, the vulnerability of the
children to become victims of cyber bullying and sexual assault increases in
leaps and bounds. All a person with intentions of abusing a child has to do, is
act affectionately to the child and the child easily falls into the trap.
With the majority of society focusing of
increasing their standards of living by increasing their materialistic
possessions and physical / environmental comforts, stress levels have increased
and moral values and value for relationships have come down drastically. This
has also lead to the increase in pervasive cognitions among adults making
children more vulnerable to harassment.
Every
data related to sex and sexuality is hidden from children or used with some
other sublime representation, due to the fear that the parents or teachers may
be put in a delicate situation if any questions are asked about it. Few also
fear the embarrassment they may encounter if any such questions are asked by
the child in a social situation. Other fears that this can create interest in
sexual activities in the child. While all other body parts are taught by their
names both in schools and by the parents the genitals name are not addressed as
“vagina” or “penis” the real name. These parts are left out without names in
the books and addressed with casual verbatim as “si si” or “su su”. This
approach of the adults is the first seed for creating a belief in the mind of
the child that anything related to genitals is supposed to be kept as a secret
and should not be discussed openly. It is this thought that prevents the child
from communicating any issues or happenings related to their genitals including
sexual abuse.
Open
communication about the genitals just like any other parts of the body can make
the child free enough to communicate any happenings associated with it to their
parents. A child should feel comfortable to say that somebody touched my vagina
or penis just like he or she can say that somebody has touched my nose. Just
like we teach the child how to take care of their teeth by brushing twice
regularly, the child can also be taught how to maintain their genital
hygienically, keeping it covered and not allowing anybody else to touch them
and also immediately report any such incidents whether it’s done with consent
or not, to parents or teachers. If such openness is created sexual abuse can
been identified at a very early stage and preventive measures can be taken.
With
the Freudian “id” the animal pleasure seeking behavior increasing in
individuals, the society is becoming a dangerous place to live in, more so for
the children. The demand of the current situation is to equip children adequate
knowledge, skills, confidence and feeling that there are parents and teachers
who they can freely approach for support when they encounter any crisis.
Preventing sexual abuse has a important role to play in safe guarding the
physical and psychological health and sex education from a very early stage has
a very important role in ensuring this
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