CREATING AWARENESS ABOUT SEXUALITY AND ASSOCIATED RISK FACTORS IN ADOLESCENTS – WHAT PARENTS CAN DO by R.Manoj Marital Counselor and Psycho Sexual Therapist Chennai

There has always been a lack of clarity on what role the parents have in providing appropriate knowledge about sex and sexuality. But with inadequate measures being taken to provide systematic sex education in schools and opposition from various quarters for the same, the onus has continued to rest with the parents to provide authentic knowledge. With increasing numbers of sexual harassment being reported in the media and the personal and social life providing more and more avenues, for free, unmonitored life style to teenagers, the only tool available to protect them from becoming innocent victims of hazards associated with adolescent sexual life is, providing adequate knowledge and create awareness about the dangers involved. Since the impact of any bloopers on this front by the children is going to have an all-round impact on the parents, its better that the parents take the responsibility of advocating preventive measures. Here are a few points on what the parents can do

1.    Initiate conversation pre adolescent children and adolescent children, because they would never ask anything about sexuality

2.    Spend time with them to understand their knowledge emotions, attitudes, behaviors, values, concerns, motivations, aspirations, Cultural deliberation, and apprehensions about the physical changes that happen to them.

3.    Provide them a supportive environment where in they can freely, share what  the peers confer  about sex and sexuality and be open to discuss, children’s  beliefs and values

4.    Discus with them how Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviour, practices, roles and relationships

5.    Clarify any misconceptions and give clearer idea about the physical changes and related experiences being natural ones and make them understand these are just the process of they becoming adults

6.    Provide them with the knowledge of maintaining general hygiene and their genital hygiene

7.    Caution them about the wrong and unreliable sources of informations such as internet, prone magazines etc and the nature of damages that it can do to them. Guide them on the how to find accurate information from reliable sources

8.    Monitor them with relation to any communication that happens in odd hours and the time they try to send in total privacy

9.    Make them understand how they can become vulnerable in relationships when they involve in late night conversations, because the time being the most personal one for everybody,  the high possibilities of the conversation treading into the utmost private life of the individual; which has sexuality as a part of it.

10. Caution them on meeting even their trusted friends of opposite sex in a total privacy and make them aware of how it can make them physically vulnerable to sexual relationship, even if they don’t want it otherwise

11. Provide them information on how sexual relationship during adolescence can cause a near permanent damage to the physical, emotional, social and moral personality and unsafe sex can even lead to illnesses

12. Make them vigilant about how they can slip into emotional traps and become victims of sexual harassment, cyber bullying etc even before they realize it

13. If there is any suspicion of them involving in masturbatory practices, talk to them openly about it and guide them on how to keep check on the behavior and prevent it from becoming a habitual practice

14. Assist them in overcoming negative body image if any, whether its their physical looks, complexion or even sexual appeal

15. Make them understand the impact of peer pressure, how it can have an impact on their personal life from dressing, behaving in particular way, having a boy friend or girl friend just for the sake of it. Caution them how it can motive them to look for excitement and thrilling new experiences including sexual relationship

16. Help them to know the difference between love, sex and intimacy

17. Assist them in developing assertiveness, so that they don’t become vulnerable to peer pressures, emotional blackmailing etc  and feel strong enough to reject any unconformable advances strongly at the initial stage

18. Provide them insights to recognize situations that might turn risky or violent, and know how to avoid them and how to deal with them if they do arise

19. Update them with the informations about how and where to ask for help and support whenever they are at risk or whenever they feel threatened

20. Break the myth that any type of molestation or aggression by anybody is an insult to their self esteem or dangerous to their social image. Also make them feel confident that you will provide unconditional support to them and stand by them.

21. Encourage your child to appreciate values, strengths and abilities that are unique to him or her as an individual.

22. Allow them to take on responsibilities with regards themselves  and make decisions.

23. Help your child to accept negative comments, setbacks or disappointments.

24. Even if your child makes a mistake, reassure your child that it’s all right to make mistakes and to simply learn from the experience.

25. Help them in getting the assistance of professionals, when you sense any problems or sudden changes in the life style of the child or when tyou have difficulty in handling the queries of the child